A lot of us are struggling these days. I feel it, I hear it, I see it everywhere.
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At least for me, the major component is time management. Trying to manage school, church, friends and work has never really been so tough. The schoolwork is definitely becoming more challenging; so much changes when the aim is to actually make the 'A' and not just scrape by with a 'C'. I'm really trying to get into Isenberg and it's kinda tough starting with my ugly 2.72 GPA. I calculated it out. Mathematically, I need two semesters of straight As (with 18 credits, each) in order to reach the 3.5 GPA. As for this semester, I think I'm close. I have four As, one A- and one really screwed up I-have-no-F-ing-idea-grade in my low level computer science class. I'm hoping to do an 8 page paper for extra credit to raise the A- to an A then play around with HTML a lot over the winter to prepare for the final.
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Work. I mean, literally, the on-campus job I'm working has been really good. I'm happy to be with Oit, definitely. I got promoted to the Staffroom and the LC, which was good. But really, I'm looking forward to my interview for a manager position. Well, there is a bit of a conflict. Next semester is going to be the most important time of my college career- whether I get into Isenberg or not could really affect my life so I'm really hoping that my job won't interfere with that. It shouldn't, if I manage my time better.
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Friends. I've had a lot of trouble with this one recently. I haven't been able to hang out with a lot of people in the way that I want to this semester. I mean, I'm all about quality time- even if that means just hanging out somewhere to watch paint dry. I haven't seen Mark in two weeks, ever since volleyball ended. I haven't talked to Debbie this week since retreat is coming up. I haven't even been able to talk much with my roommate because of how much work he has. The time that I spend with my other friends have been... unfulfilling, to say in the least. Recently, I feel like I've given a lot of myself; to help, to hold, to listen to and to support. Call it my selfish nature or my ignorance but I feel really neglected. But then again, am I entitled to feel loved all the time? It's a tough question.
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Speaking of neglection, and even the fact that this is so low in the actual form of this entry, I feel absolutely guilty about neglecting God. I've had like two or three sessions with him this whole semester. AKC had a guest preacher, Pastor Seung Su come a few weekends ago. He talked about this- when Quiet Times are mentioned, do I feel guilty or do I feel a thirst to know God more? I feel guilty.
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God help me. My faith is weak.
Come and be strong for me.
